Previously on Total Divas: John Cena got surgery and Nikki took care of him. He also threw her a curveball when he presented her with a “cohabitation agreement” after she already moved all of her stuff halfway across the country. She also has to get it notarized. Super annoying. Eva Marie gets the opportunity to be a ring announcer for Raw and….it did not go well. Jon Uso had a fungus foot and he spread it to Trin and Brie is upset because Bryan is now the top guy in WWE and is much busier.
This episode picks up where it left off with Nikki leaving John Cena’s house after he presented her with the cohabitation document. She pulls over and calls Brie to tell her what just happened. Brie is upset and tells her that it’s not fair of him to do that, especially AFTER Nikki already moved her stuff in. She also had to throw in a subtle jab and say that Bryan would NEVER do that to her. Also, Nikki looks kind of sketchy just pulled over on the side of the road and I’m sure the cameras around her vehicle didn’t help, but hey, when you’re famous you can do what you want.
This week we also get an Ariane and Vinny storyline and I honestly wish we didn’t because I really didn’t want to see or hear about their sex life for an entire episode, but here we are. You all get to suffer with me. They are at their apartment and Vinny wants to have sex and Ariane tells him no. Vinny starts complaining because apparently Ariane never wants to sleep with him, but Ariane continuously tells him that it hurts, so she doesn’t want to. Vinny suggests she go to a doctor. Don’t worry, we get to go with you to all the appointments.
Nikki checks into a hotel and calls her mom, Kathy, and basically has the exact same conversation with her as she did with Brie about an hour ago. I’m not sure why they all just didn’t do a group call, seems like it would be a lot easier, but that’s just me. Kathy basically tells Nikki that she might be making the cohabitation agreement into a bigger deal than it needs to be and that John Cena is just trying to protect himself because of what has happened in previous relationships. Nikki doesn’t seem thrilled that her mom is actually giving good advice and says that John Cena just needs to get over his past. I’m sure that will go over well.
We now are backstage at Raw and have a random scene where Ariane and Trin are trying to teach Nattie how to twerk. It goes about as well as you would imagine. Trin tells Ariane that she needs to twerk on Vinny later on and Ariane starts telling Trin way too much personal information, as she does, and tells Trin how she hasn’t been having sex with Vinny because it hurts and she just doesn’t want to. Trin tells her that she needs to sleep with Vinny and it’s not fair that she’s withholding sex from him. I can’t wait until this storyline is over. A little later on, Ariane goes to the gynecologist and brings the cameras with her because why wouldn’t she? Ariane has an exam in full view of the cameras and I really would prefer to not go into detail on this. But, if you’re curious, go ahead and watch season 1, episode 12 on Peacock. Long story short, the gynecologist tells her that nothing seems to be abnormal and the pain doesn’t seem to be associated with her endometriosis which Ariane had previously thought. Ariane inquires about possibly going to a sex therapist. You guessed it, we also get to go with that appointment.
Thankfully, we finally get to see some wrestling on a wrestling reality TV show. Eva Marie is training at the Performance Center because she finally got an epiphany that if she wanted to be a wrestler, she should probably learn how to wrestle. TJ is also there since he is preparing to make a return to the ring and he also helps coach and train a lot of the new talent. Because of this, he starts to help Eva with some moves as I would expect from a wrestling coach.
Nattie comes to the Performance Center and sees Eva and TJ training together and immediately gets mad. She acknowledges to us that she knows TJ is a trainer, but she says that TJ would NEVER train a newbie like Eva….why? Isn’t that his job? Does he only train veterans who already know what they’re doing? Now, don’t get me wrong, I think you all know I’m not the biggest fan of Eva, but I think Nattie is in the wrong on this. There are also many people around, so what does she think is going to happen? Nattie decides to go to the ring and give TJ a kiss and TJ is visibly confused and wondering why she just decided to kiss him out of nowhere. Nattie tells us she is upset because she is the only woman that TJ ever trained with. I think this is a lie because it’s well-known that TJ has done A LOT for the women’s division in WWE over the years. So, again, I’m not exactly sure why Nattie is upset.
The next day (I’m assuming), Nattie and TJ are at their house and trying to come up with a plan of what to do after lunch. TJ says he plans on going to the Performance Center which seems fair to me since they are both wrestlers, but Nattie cannot understand why he would want to do that. TJ says that Eva asked him if he could come a train with her and Nattie gets super passive-aggressive about it and says that she will just go work out on her own even though she was looking forward to working out with him. TJ just doesn’t really say anything and lets her be mad since she doesn’t really have a reason to be mad.
We then flash to a quick scene where Brie is taking the star of the show, Josie, on a walk in the park and they are supposed to meet Bryan there. Bryan calls and tells Brie that he won’t be able to make it because he has seven interviews to do and he can’t really get out of it. He says he will make it up to Brie and Brie asks him how he is going to make it up to Josie. This turns into a bigger issue later.
We are back at the Performance Center where Nattie decides to show up even though she just made a big deal about not going. Nattie sees that TJ and Eva are training together even though he literally told her that is what he was going to do. She is upset because Eva is not wearing a bra and is apparently rubbing against him even though it is literally wrestling and yeah, you’re going to have contact with each other. Nattie decides to try and make TJ jealous by asking our favorite bad boy, Fandango, to train with her. The funny thing is that this entire time, TJ didn’t even notice her come into the building. He then finally sees that she’s with Fandango and he gets upset since she said she wasn’t coming that day.
TJ sees that Fandango has his shirt off (because of course he does) and decides to take off his shirt too. Fandango gets mad because TJ is sitting there yelling at them and he tells Nattie that they shouldn’t train together anymore if TJ is going to get upset like that. TJ decides to leave after this confrontation and just leaves Eva Marie alone in the ring. Eva starts screaming at Nattie wondering why she is upset and why she is trying to jeopardize her training. Nattie tells Eva that she has a reputation for being shady which made me actually laugh out loud. Nattie brings up V-neck Jonathan, who I miss dearly, and made me wonder when he becomes a bigger part of this show.
Eva tells us that Nattie is clearly losing her mind, which is fair, and reminds Nattie that she is engaged and about to be married to V-neck Jonathan, so she doesn’t even want TJ like that. Yeah, Nattie, be real, even Nikki will tell you that Eva clearly is after John Cena.
Fear not, we finally get to go to the sex therapist with Ariane and Vinny and it is just as awkward as you can imagine. Ariane explains her situation to the therapist and the therapist immediately starts asking all kinds of questions that I really don’t think I can repeat on this website. The sex therapist is honestly such a character. She basically lectures Ariane the entire time for being too boring and not willing to try things and Ariane is clearly taken aback, but surprisingly isn’t arguing with her. Later on, Vinny comes back to their apartment after going to a sex shop and brings home all kinds of toys and gadgets.
He’s basically like Santa Claus. Ariane keeps repeating to us that she is super uncomfortable with everything, but is willing to give it a shot for Vinny. She actually ends up becoming a fan of the whip that Vinny bought and starts hitting him with it in the kitchen. Vinny is clearly annoyed but isn’t about to say anything since she finally isn’t complaining about it. Ariane says that she could get used to being in charge blindfolds Vinny and continues to whip him on their way to their room. And that’s all I really want to say about that scene, to be honest. I learned way more about Ariane and Vinny in this episode than I would have liked.
We now are back to the Bella Twins and their drama with their men. They are out getting coffee and they talk about the agreement yet again. Nikki says that she hasn’t even talked to John Cena since she left his house and Brie tells her that he is the one that Nikki should be talking to and telling her feelings too- not Brie. Brie also tells her that she can’t just let everything build up and she needs to let it out which I honestly agree with Brie about. Nikki decides to call John Cena and leave him a voicemail saying that she is ready to talk about things.
TJ and Nattie are back at their house and TJ asks Nattie where Fandango is at. How funny would it be if Fandango just came out of some random room and we found out that he just decided to live there? I’d be down for a reality show about Fandango house hopping and making everybody uncomfortable. Anyway, Nattie tells TJ that she gets jealous because she feels like Eva Marie is prettier than her. TJ reassures her and tells her that it isn’t true and he has no interest in Eva and is just trying to help out a coworker since it is his job. He also continues to bury Fandango which is hilarious to me because it seems as if everybody has had a problem with this man at one point or another. Anyway, Nattie and TJ make up immediately and I really think this whole thing could have been prevented with just a little more communication, but we all know that’s not how it works on this show.
Brie and Bryan are out to lunch because God forbid we have an episode of Total Divas where someone doesn’t go out to eat. It is Bryan’s day off and Mark Carrano keeps texting him and Bryan has been ignoring him. Things are going well until Mark decides to call Bryan. Bryan tells Brie that he has to take the call. He tells Mark that he is out to lunch with Brie, but then also tells him that he can talk. Mark wants him to do some sort of interview or something and Bryan goes outside and continues to talk on the phone. By the time Bryan gets back inside and back to the table, Brie is already done eating and Bryan’s food hasn’t even been touched. Right when he starts eating, his phone rings again.
A reminder that this is his day off and honestly, I’m a little upset that WWE continues to bother their employees on their days off as if they don’t put enough into the company. Brie is upset when Bryan comes back in after the phone call and says they should just get his food to go and leave. Brie is really upset since their lunch date was basically ruined and I can see her point of view, but at the same time, Bryan doesn’t really have a choice.
In the car, Brie tells Bryan that she doesn’t understand why he can’t just take an hour out of his day to just be present with her. She also tells him that she wishes he could be the person he was when they started dating. Bryan brings up the very valid fact that he is much more successful now and therefore has a lot more responsibility. Brie doesn’t seem to accept that answer.
Nikki and Brie go to a yoga class and are having a conversation after the class. Nikki tells Brie that she left a voicemail on John Cena’s phone, but he hasn’t called her back yet. Brie starts freaking out on Nikki because as she was trying to talk, Nikki immediately went on her phone. Nikki claims she was just checking the time, but Brie points out that she saw her thumbs scrolling. Nikki puts the phone away and Brie starts complaining about Bryan and how he doesn’t have time for her anymore. Nikki tells Brie that he is being too needy and she’s been being mean to Bryan. She points out that Brie needs to learn to deal with it and stop stressing Bryan out since he already has a lot on his face since he’s now the top guy for WWE. After Nikki lectures her for a bit, Brie realizes that she is being way too hard on Bryan and now feels bad about it.
Later on, Bryan comes home from the road and Brie decides to talk to him and apologize for how she’s been acting with him Bryan apologizes too and says he will try and start managing his time better. Much like Nattie and TJ, I feel this entire situation could have been avoided if they just would’ve communicated with each other as things happened instead of getting mad about it and not talking. This whole argument was resolved in like a minute.
Meanwhile, Nikki gets a call from John Cena and he is surprised to hear her pick up the phone instead of sending him to voicemail. John Cena asks her if they can go get dinner somewhere close by and Nikki agrees. Thankfully, we get to go to this dinner too, since we only got one restaurant scene this entire episode. At the dinner, Nikki tells John Cena that the cohabitation agreement is selfish since he didn’t tell her about it before she moved in because he was scared she would’ve said no. John Cena agrees but explains that he basically takes care of his entire extended family so if Nikki tried to pull something, it wouldn’t just be affecting him, it would affect his ability to take care of his family. Nikki has a change of heart when she realizes this and tells him that she is willing to sign the document if he promises to give her 20 kisses a day or something like that. Yet another argument that could’ve been solved if there was any sort of healthy communication happening. That’s the episode!
NEXT WEEK: S1E13 “Get That Chingle Chingle”. I am fairly certain this is when Ariane forces Vinny to try out for the WWE and it doesn’t go well. We’ll see you next week!