Previously on Total Divas: Ariane and Trinity fought over go-karting and then were forced to compete in singles matches that they both failed at according to Nattie. Brie and Nikki went to visit their family and Nikki stressed about seeing their dad. John Cena was a therapist again. Nattie and TJ go to Calgary for Nattie’s birthday and TJ is a huge mama’s boy and Nattie doesn’t like his mom. Nattie also went to dinner on her birthday with a guy named Jaret who basically confessed that he was in love with her.
Jojo will start off this week by ogling Justin Gabriel backstage, and when Eva arrives, she will be teased about it. Jojo has a crush on Justin for whatever reason, and when they tell Chris Jericho about it, he promises to send Justin a note that reads, “Do you like Jojo? Answer “yes” or “no” Everyone is behaving as though Jojo is in middle school and just got her first crush, which is kind of odd. Immediately after, we catch Justin and Jojo making out in the backstage area. Eva arrives to sabotage the occasion after noticing that Jojo is receiving attention as usual.
In her confessional, Eva refers to Jojo as being “single but not ready to mingle yet” as if she were Jojo’s mother. The scene then cuts to both women watching Justin Gabriel’s match backstage, and Jojo announces that she will be inviting Justin to their upcoming housewarming celebration. They must have lived there for a while—in that house, apartment, or hotel room. Why did they decide at random to host a housewarming party? Anyway, we’ll talk more about this later.
The Bellas and the Funkadactyls are training together at the Performance Center and mother Nattie shows up. Nattie interrupts their training to tell everyone that she is super stressed about planning the wedding with TJ. Nikki tells her that is why they are all going to Las Vegas and throwing a joint bachelorette/bachelor party for Nattie and TJ. Nattie is excited to just relax and “chat” with everybody and Nikki basically tells her absolutely not and that there will be male strippers and partying instead. Nattie also decides that this is the perfect time to tell everyone that she went to dinner with Jaret on her birthday and that she invited him to the wedding even though he’s in love with her. Trin asks Nattie what the hell she is doing which is honestly what we all are thinking.
Jojo is worried that Justin Gabriel will arrive first and that it will be awkward as he and Eva prepare for their housewarming party. He wasn’t the first person to arrive. The second person there is not him. Not even the third person there is he. To be honest, I believe he arrived last. Since Eva doesn’t drink and Jojo is unable to drink, why would they spend a lot of money on expensive wine that isn’t even for them? This is the complaint of all the diva contestants, especially Nikki. When Nikki starts talking about Brie Mode, she explains that it is a period of extreme intoxication during which Brie becomes irrational. Because Bryan doesn’t drink, according to Brie, she rarely enters Brie Mode. Brie Mode—three times, please.
Jojo is sitting on Justin’s lap when he finally arrives at the party, which surprises me because I still think this is just a crush, but whatever. To Nikki’s horror, Nattie, in typical Nattie fashion, casually mentions that TJ is the only man she’s ever been with. Then, everyone starts dancing and having a good time in this small apartment. Nattie makes the decision to approach Jojo and express her concerns regarding the age difference between Jojo and Justin.
Jojo doesn’t care and later starts making out with him on the balcony and everybody just stands there and stares at them which is super weird. Ariane tells everyone that when she was 20, she was dating a 41-year-old guy because she loves older guys. Ariane, what?!?!?!?! That is super alarming and what is even more alarming is that everybody just brushes this off as if it’s normal. I don’t get these people sometimes. To round out this party, Eva again tells us that Jojo and Justin shouldn’t be together. Probably because Eva wants to be with him instead of V-neck Jonathan.
Jojo and Justin are having a date in the following scene. The moment Justin realizes that Jojo is actually 19 years old and is therefore unable to consume alcohol, he orders wine and makes an attempt to order some for her. After this, he seems to get into a really strange mood and stops talking. Jojo decides to tell Justin about her pet rabbit and show him pictures because she doesn’t seem to notice that anything is wrong. Justin’s expressions show that he is completely uninterested in anything.
The John Cena scene of the week must now be ready. To buy Nattie a gift for her bachelorette party, Nikki drags John Cena along with her shopping. For some reason, Nikki makes the decision to reveal all of Nattie’s details and inform John Cena that Nattie has only ever dated one man. John is very perplexed as to why she is telling him this and why he would care, just like the rest of us. Why John Cena doesn’t find this information as shocking as she does is a mystery to Nikki. As a result of this conversation, John Cena now wants Nikki’s phone number, so she really screwed herself.
Meanwhile, Ariane is packing for the Las Vegas trip. Vincent comes in the room and is upset that Ariane gets to go have fun and he is stuck at home. He then tries to invite himself on the trip and Ariane insists that it’s only people from work going so he can’t go. Then he then starts arguing with her about how she never makes time for him and is kind of being a baby about the whole thing. He also resembles a big toe.
Finally, everybody gets to Vegas. There is a stripper pole in the bedroom and 19 year old Jojo and grown man Justin Gabriel are on it and being weird. Ariane asks Brie if we will see Brie Mode that night and she says probably not but possibly when Bryan isn’t around. Everyone decides to go to the pool together. Nattie tells Nikki that Jaret has been texting her on the trip and asked her if she was getting lapdances.
Nikki tells Nattie that he is clearly flirting, and she has to stop replying and being flirty back. Nattie doesn’t think that either of them are flirting. Nattie asks Nikki to not tell Brie or anybody else about this despite the fact that Nikki just ran her mouth to John Cena about TJ being the only man that Nattie has ever with. In cuter news, Jon Uso tells Trin that she is the hottest woman at the pool, and I have to say that I agree.
Justin Gabriel is talking to another girl at the pool and Jojo isn’t happy about it. Eva Marie tells Jojo that she should be worried since Justin is kind of a player. Jojo is convinced that he is really into her and thinks that he’s really feeling her. I don’t know, girl, he’s literally talking to another girl that he just met right in front of you. Everyone goes back to the room and takes some shots and gets ready to go out. The women go to Chippendales and Nattie ends up going onstage. It’s so funny because Nattie is so awkward and embarrassed about it, but also is truly enjoying herself.
After Chippendales, everyone decides to go out to the bar. Jojo can’t go since she’s underage and Eva doesn’t go since she chooses not to drink. They decide to go for a walk around the hotel and they spot Justin with another woman. Jojo has a meltdown basically and it only gets worse when Eva sees Justin hop into a cab and leave the hotel with the girl. Jojo says that she’s done. Legit done. Like, done. Eva is actually being super nice in this moment and comforts Jojo.
At the bar, Brie is gradually getting more drunk. She claims she is in Brie Mode, but to be honest this was nothing compared to some of her other Brie Mode moments during the series. She’s dancing on tables, dancing on booths and just enjoying her life. Nikki falls off the booth at one point and it truly is hilarious and relatable.
I will say that I definitely would love to party with both Brie and Nikki. After the bar closes, everyone continues to drink in Nattie’s suite. Nattie, who had just told Nikki hours earlier not to say anything, tells everyone that she can’t get her mind off of Jaret. When she is at her literal bachelorette party in Las Vegas with her FIANCE there as well. I really don’t understand Nattie, sometimes. Everyone kind of rolls their eyes and ignores her. Brie, who is pretty drunk, decides to have a one-on-one conversation with Nattie to tell her how stupid she is being. Nattie ends up crying in bed at the end of the night because she is scared of being married to TJ even though they’ve been together for like 13 years or something crazy like that.
Brie heads back to her and Bryan’s hotel room. She said that she doesn’t want to wake up Bryan since she doesn’t want him to know that she is in Brie Mode. But yet, she decides to knock on the door and ring the doorbell multiple times at 4:30 in the morning. Brie tells us that Bryan doesn’t even realize that she is in Brie Mode but then decides to put red fuzzy handcuffs on him and he’s about ready to kill her. In the morning, Brie doesn’t want to get up because she’s so hungover.
Brie confesses to Bryan that she was in Brie Mode the night before and Bryan tells her, “you think I didn’t know when you tried putting fuzzy handcuffs on me?” I love Bryan in this show. Just straight to the point. He does not feel sorry for Brie at all and keeps trying ways to get her out of bed. Brie is shocked that Bryan wasn’t mad that she got drunk the night before as if she’s not in Vegas at a bachelorette party and he isn’t understanding about that fact.
Everyone goes out to eat again because we can not have an episode of Total Divas without people going out to eat. Justin Gabriel is also there and sits next to Jojo which is really awkward since literally everybody saw him with a different girl the night before. Nobody even questions him either. He just shows up and sits next to Jojo as if everything is normal and nothing happened. They do both have a chat at dinner though and Justin tells Jojo that the age gap is just too big and noticeable but he really does like her. He just doesn’t think the relationship would work out. So, they basically break up even though they were never together in the first place.
Trin and Ariane are hanging out in Ariane’s hotel room and Ariane tells Trin that Vinny decided to hop on a plane and come to Vegas. Trin immediately worries that there will be trouble once he gets there. Right when they’re talking about him, he shows up at the room and immediately is annoying and obnoxious. The man acts like he’s never seen a hotel room before. He is in awe about the bathtub, the shower, the beds, the windows, literally everything. It’s the small things I guess. Ariane is over him and Trin can’t get out of the room fast enough.
Everybody is eating again except Vinny is here this time. People are getting drinks at dinner and Vinny is almost immediately way more drunk than everyone else. Jon Uso makes one of his famous faces when Vinny starts to obnoxiously eat cotton candy.
The man is literally shoving his face with cotton candy. Everyone at the table is annoyed and he spills on Ariane which leads to her continuing to yell at him. After dinner everyone goes out for drinks again. Justin Gabriel is also still hanging around for some reason which is kind of odd. Vinny is doing shots of Don Julio which can only end badly. Ariane is mad at Vinny for being so drunk and I can’t blame her because he is truly making a fool of himself and embarrassing her. I don’t normally take Ariane’s side in a lot of things, but I am absolutely on her side in this situation.
Vinny tells Jon Uso that he will back him up any day and Jon Uso just kind of looks at him and nods. Vinny then spills ANOTHER drink on Ariane and that is the beginning of the end. They start fighting and ruining the vibe for everyone else, so Ariane decides that they have to leave. Vinny tries and fails to walk into a straight line to prove to Ariane that he’s not drunk. And that is basically the episode. Definitely not as exciting as some of the other Vegas episodes that I remember, but still had some great moments. Like Vinny eating the cotton candy.
NEXT WEEK: “A Leg Up”. There really isn’t much in the description about this episode, so I guess we’re in for a surprise!