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Total Divas Recap S1E8: “No Longer the Bridesmaid”

Updated: Jul 29, 2023

Previously on Total Divas: Eva Marie models for Maxim magazine, but yet gets mad at Jojo for wanting to sing in the WWE since she isn’t focusing on wrestling. Yeah, I don’t understand either. Nikki gets injured and will be out for about 12 weeks. Ariane and Vinny have a fight because he wants to get married already and she says it’s way too soon since they’ve only been together for 10 months. Jojo, Trin, and Ariane also all sang “Somebody Call My Mama” on TV and it did not go well.

We open this week with Nattie trying to tie a ribbon on her cat, Gizmo. No, really. TJ has not a clue what she is doing and I’m with him. The cat looks like it would rather be anywhere else. Nattie tells us that she has been busy planning the wedding since it’s already like a day away and she’s done nothing since she’s so busy. Maybe TJ was right and they should’ve just gone the courthouse route and done a party later if she is literally planning her wedding like just a few days in advance.

After the opening credits, we are back at Nattie’s house and her sister, Muffy, is there to help with the wedding. There are like a million kids running around the house and it’s so loud and I honestly got anxiety watching it because I cannot even imagine the chaos that is happening at the house. Nattie’s mom, Ellie, and her dad Jim Neidhart show up at the house and it is the first time that we see either of them on this show, but don’t worry, they are in many more episodes to come. Ellie apparently sewed Nattie a wedding dress without Nattie’s knowledge even though in a flashback scene, they showed Ellie with Nattie when Nattie found her perfect wedding dress.

The dress that Ellie sewed is truly a monster. There’s a giant rose on the very front of it, puffy sleeves, and it honestly makes Nattie look like she is from the 1800’s. The dress is truly so so so bad and I really hope this was just something the show came up with and not Ellie actually believing it was cute and that Nattie would wear it over the dress she picked out weeks ago. Nattie tells Ellie that she doesn’t want to wear the dress and Ellie is upset about it. This episode is already so chaotic and this was just the opening two scenes.

Meanwhile, WWE has just opened the Performance Center, so most of the cast are there supporting it. Jane tells everyone that they will be sending up one or two NXT girls to the main roster since Nikki is out with an injury. Nikki says that as long as it isn’t Eva Marie, she’ll be fine which is absolutely hilarious to me because she said it in front of everyone. It wasn’t even in her confessional. It was in front of the other women and in front of Jane. Nikki truly does not care and I respect that about her.

Jane has a separate conversation with Eva Marie and Jojo and tells them about the open spots on the main roster and how they are looking for people to be valets. Eva starts talking about how she knows she’ll have that spot and she’s ready for it and Jojo calls her cocky and tells us in a confessional that she will be the one to win the spot. Oh boy, here we go again, another Eva and Jojo fighting episode.

Nikki is now at John Cena’s house where she’s on the phone with Brie until John Cena interrupts her to tell her that he needs to talk to her urgently. Nikki is thinking something is seriously wrong, but John Cena just tells her that his family is getting together and none of them ever get to be together, so it’s a huge deal. He also tells her that he wants Nikki to come with him to meet the family. There is a catch though because apparently this is happening on the same day as Nattie’s wedding. I’m sorry, but that is just way too much of a coincidence for me. John Cena had mentioned that this date was the only one that would work for everybody, but I truly don’t believe it. John Cena just didn’t want to go to the chaos that is going to be Nattie’s wedding.

That man has been looking for a way out this entire time and he finally found the perfect excuse. Now, Nikki is tasked with the difficult decision of going to meet John Cena’s family or going to Nattie’s wedding. I’m sure you all know exactly what she’s going to pick. Backstage at Raw a few days later, Nikki says that she made her decision to meet John Cena’s family over going to the wedding. She pulls Nattie aside and tells her about what is going on and literally lets Nattie ramble on and on about her wedding planning and how everyone is going to love it before she drops the news about not coming.

Nattie is really upset about it because apparently she planned her own wedding date around when John Cena and Nikki were both available? Somehow, I don’t believe it. After this, Nattie starts crying and talks to Brie about how the wedding is falling apart and Brie has to calm her down and tell her to just focus on what she wants for the wedding and to stop worrying about everyone else. We’ll see how that goes.

Also backstage, Mark pulls Eva Marie, Jojo, Nattie, Trinity, and Ariane into the hallway because apparently that’s where they hold talent relations meetings. Mark says that Eva Marie will be debuting that night in Nattie’s corner when she faces Trin and Ariane in a match. Jojo is really upset about it and tries to show that she is happy for Eva, but is frustrated. Trin and Ariane try to hype her up and make her feel better, which is really nice, but doesn’t do much to change Jojo’s mood.

Later in catering, Jojo is sitting by herself and Eva comes up to sit by her and immediately starts interrogating Jojo and talking about herself. Jojo is barely talking about and is giving so much attitude and I truly love it because Eva also has not been supportive of Jojo at all. Eva calls Jojo selfish and unsupportive and walks off and Jojo barely blinks an eye. Later on, Eva Marie makes her official debut of walking down the ramp and standing next to the ring. She really doesn’t know what kind of facial expressions to make and it’s super awkward. Jojo is watching the monitor backstage and clearly is not about it.

We flash to Trin on the phone with Jon Uso at a hotel. I’m a little disappointed that we can’t actually see Jon Uso and his faces, but don’t worry, he is at Nattie’s wedding later on. While Trin is on the phone, Ariane calls her and tells her something is really wrong with her and her stomach hurts super bad and she doesn’t know what’s going on. Trin rushes to the room and Ariane can barely move because she is in so much pain.

Trin calls an ambulance and tells the camera people to stop filming. The EMT’s show up and put Ariane on a stretcher and wheel her to the ambulance. Later on, Ariane tells us that the doctor believes the likely has endometriosis but cannot fully confirm until she goes back home to see her doctor. Trin calls Jon Uso to tell him everything that is going on and that they are out of the hospital and Jon Uso says, “maybe it’s a baby” and honestly, bless Jon Uso for always providing people laughter even in serious situations. 

Back to one of our other stories of this episode, Eva Marie asks Jojo if they can have a chat. Jojo tells Eva that she is so over everything between them and that is why she is being distant. Jojo tells Eva that even though they have come up together in the company, everything is still a competition, and she is sick of Eva getting all the opportunities while she is getting nothing. Eva says that she has done nothing but support Jojo this entire time which is NOT true because did everybody but me forget the singing thing and how she was negative about it the entire time?! Eva tells Jojo that they shouldn’t live or travel together anymore, and Jojo is relieved and says it’s fine by her and storms off since she is still mad. The conversation really accomplished nothing. 

It is Nattie’s wedding day finally and everyone is getting ready at the venue and Nattie can’t stop talking about the tux that she got for Gizmo. Brie and Trin are extremely early to the wedding and just, like, come up to Nattie’s room while she’s getting ready? I don’t know, this seems really odd to me especially since neither of them are actually in the wedding. As a guest, don’t you wait to see the bride until she is walking down the aisle? Nattie doesn’t seem to mind either way, but the wedding day is off to a very odd start. Nattie tells Trin and Brie that Jaret is coming and TJ doesn’t even know that Nattie invited Jaret.

This should go well. Brie tells Nattie that if Jared tries to ruin the wedding, she’ll stop him. Or maybe they could just not invite him and avoid the whole situation? The wedding planner comes up and tells Nattie that the weather is really bad outside and they’re going to have to move the wedding indoors. Nattie is basically refusing to accept that the weather is that bad and the planner has to be like, “there is literally thunder, rain and lightning outside and it’s unsafe” for Nattie to accept it. Nattie asks what else could go wrong for the wedding and that’s when we see Jaret enter the venue. 

Next, Eva Marie and Jojo show up to Nattie’s changing room together which is odd because again, why is everyone hanging out with the bride before the wedding and also Eva and Jojo literally just had the biggest fight a couple scenes ago and now they’re just acting as if everything is okay and nothing happened. I truly don’t understand this show sometimes. Ariane also shows up to the changing room with Vinny in tow and Nattie is not thrilled about Vinny being there since he and Ariane always fight.

I like to think she also isn’t thrilled about him being there because he may eat all the cotton candy and drink all the tequila. But really, I cannot stress this enough, WHY IS EVERYONE IN NATTIE’S CHANGING ROOM WHILE SHE IS GETTING READY?!?!?!?! Ariane tells us that Vinny and she are back together which is strange since I never even knew they broke up to begin with and thought they were just slowing things down, but okay, I guess. 

We do get a brief scene of Nikki at the John Cena Family Dinner, but there really isn’t anything notable about it. Nikki tells us about how funny John Cena’s family is, but you never really see her actually laughing and she really just looks uncomfortable and shy the entire time.

Back to the wedding, everybody is now hanging out with TJ which is also super weird. Like what even is this wedding? It’s like they’re doing the reception/hangout first and then doing the wedding. It does not feel like a wedding at all. Jaret comes into the room and immediately starts talking to TJ about what happened in Calgary with him and Nattie literally in front of everyone.

Jon Uso when Jaret walks through the door.

Am I having a fever dream? Is this a movie? There is no way any of this is actually real because how?? TJ asks Jaret to talk to him outside of the room and probably away from literally the entire guest list who is just hanging out with the bride and groom for whatever reason. TJ tries to act all tough, but really doesn’t do anything or say anything and just lets Jaret tell him what happened. TJ goes up to Nattie’s room to talk to her and, of course, she has a room full of people because that’s apparently normal. Nattie says to TJ that he is ruining the wedding because he is not supposed to see her in the dress before the wedding, but Nattie, be freaking real.

Literally the entire guest list has seen you before the wedding, what is the difference at this point if TJ sees you too? TJ tells her that Jaret told him everything and he is upset that her and Jaret text, call, and email each other. He tells her that he doesn’t even know if the wedding should happen now. Nattie then tells TJ everything that happened between her and Jaret and honestly kind of downplays most of it and lies about it, but TJ just kind of believes her? I don’t know if it’s because he’s over it and doesn’t care, because the wedding is literally starting, or a mix of both. There is no way this is a real life wedding.

The two decide to go on with the wedding and Jon Uso is already laughing before the ceremony even starts and that’s why I love him so much.

He knows this thing is a trainwreck and he is loving every single minute of it just like me. Nattie walks down the aisle with her dad on one arm and holding her cat with the other, which is interesting but not nearly as chaotic as the rest of the wedding has been. The camera flashes to Jaret who is clearly not thrilled to be there, and I don’t understand why he didn’t just leave to be honest. The ceremony itself is pretty uneventful and the most normal part of the entire day. 

After the ceremony, everybody goes to the reception. It is so weird because there is like nobody at this wedding. I get having a small wedding and only inviting a few people, but please tell me how people like Jaret and Vinny were able to secure an invite to this wedding when they probably left so many people off the guest list. For example, where is Bret Hart? Anyway, Brie gets a call in the middle of the reception from Nikki who wants to talk to Nattie even though Nattie is just trying to finally enjoy herself. Nikki wonders if she is benign rude calling in the middle of it. Yes, Nikki, you are. But go off, I guess. Nikki apologizes again for missing the wedding and Nattie seems to accept the apology and says that she would choose TJ if she was in the same position.

There is a bouquet toss and Brie catches it which I’m sure is direct foreshadowing to later on this season, especially because of the face Bryan made when she caught it. TJ put together a video of moments throughout his and Nattie’s relationship and plays it at the reception, but it is very weird because it is literally only wrestling moments. It’s like he put in the search bar on the WWE Network “Natalya and Tyson Kidd” and then just took all those clips and threw them together in a video.

Either way, Nattie seems to enjoy it and says it was really sweet which is what’s important I suppose. Also, Nattie dances with Jaret at the wedding?? How come this guy has not left yet and how is TJ okay with them dancing and how is Nattie just open to dancing with him? I have so many unanswered questions at the end of this episode.

We close the episode with SURPRISE, Nikki, and John Cena out to eat. They are talking about how they have been together for almost a year and how John Cena wants Nikki to move in with him since he is tired of being long-distance. Nikki tells us that she had a rule for herself that she never wanted to live with a man until she was engaged, but she is willing to break that rule for John Cena. Okay, Nikki, we’ll see how that goes. Also, remember when Nikki was mad at Brie for moving in with Bryan and moving away? But now she can move across the country and it’s fine? I am super excited to get into the John Cena House Rules episodes which I’m sure are coming up.

NEXT WEEK: S1E10 “SummerSlam”. I am skipping episode 9 of this season because it is just the cast talking about what has happened during the season so far and that is literally what I am doing for you guys. I do not have it in me to do a recap of a recap. SO, we will be back with the SummerSlam episode next week!


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